Memento Mori




Memento Mori comes from Latin meaning "Remember You Must Die". Previously, I wrote about Pidro being a gift from Papa to us, but there are actually two more precious gifts, even more valuable than Pidro, that he gave me.  First is for me to have a taste of living my dream to be close to nature, and second, is this reminder of Memento Mori, which I hope, will be a constant reminder for me until the time that I will leave this world and be laughing with him of his jokes again. 

In my life, I've come close to death that affected me emotionally three times now. First, when I was at high-school when I lost my cousin, Budi, who was not only a cousin but my best friend when growing up. He died in a motorcycle accident in Jogja. Next when I lost my grandmother just as I was preparing to study in Australia and recently with the passing of my father in law, Papa. 

I know from experience of other people, not everyone is lucky enough to get along well with the in laws. Yet, Papa had been amazing, since the first day I was introduced to him, I never had any problem at all, or maybe he knew that  his daughter is as stubborn as him, once making a decision Edenn wouldn't go back again. 

Papa made time and efforts every time I visited Philippines. He grilled Bangus (milk fish), and cooked Patoten, a roasted duck glazed in palm liquid sugar that took hours to cook. He made sure that I had young coconuts available when we visited his place because he knew I love them. One time he was so upset with the kids who used to hang around at the farm who took all the young coconuts until there was none left for us, or visitors to the farm. Well, that's how kind he was. He expressed his love to his kids through his cooking and his jokes with them. Edenn and Denise always call him Ungas in our video chats. In Bisaya, it means 'a fool'. Now who can joke like that to their dads? That explains how loving and cool he was with his kids.  

Now, back to Memento Mori, we never thought we would lose Papa so soon. Well, we knew his lifestyle was concerning, he had diabetes and he was still drinking, but this was Papa, a big build guy stronger than people at his age. He even boasted that he already lost all his drinking buddies who died before him. At the end, he had to submit to his sickness and left us. 

Papa's departure reminds me that my time is limited and I may have taken time for granted. I knew of Memento Mori, but I live as if I have an abundant amount of time. We tend to live like we have unlimited amount of it, unfortunately we don't.  Unconsciously we think similarly to the way we see our money at the bank, "Oh we still have some savings at the bank".  We tend to think we still have 30 or 40 years to live but no one knows when our time will come, and this makes our life and time so precious every single day. 

Papa's departure helps this realisation and puts everything in perspective, keeping me focused on what's really important for me and how I should see the people that I love and care. Life is not just about work. It will be sad to have such a realisation when we're already on our dying bed that the fast pace of working has taken all the precious limited time away from doing what we like and caring the people we love around us. 

Papa's gift is for me to keep this reminder every day to "slow down, remember that my time is limited, be thankful, and ask if I have used my time wisely". 

Thank you Pa. 

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