Five Months of Papa's Last Dance


 


December 2021

"Hi Kuya, Papa is vomitting. We're going to DMSF hospital to admit him. I'll update [you] from time to time". 

My wife's younger sister, Hanna, texted me on December 1, 2021. We were just in our room and were shocked by the news. I felt like everything went quiet suddenly that I couldn't even hear the sound of breeze flowing out of the air conditioner in our room. My wife tried to reach her elder sister, Denise, who luckily happened to be in Davao that time. Papa was hospitalised and brought to ICU immediately. He was in a terrible shape. 

December was supposed to be a special month. Christmas and New Year were around the corner. We usually had a vacation around these times. The last time we met papa was when he visited us with Denise and we had a great time visiting Jogja. This was also the month of Edenn's birthday and our wedding anniversary. 

This month of December proved otherwise. It became the most gruelling time for papa who fought bravely for his life and us who tried to sustain his treatment at the hospital. Uncle Renne's family and his kids helped us financially, especially the day when the doctors prescribed six vials of NovoSeven to stop the internal bleeding, each vial costs P47,700. The first two weeks of December were critical for Papa.  He even had to go through two operations. 

I spent sometime at the hospital during the week of Christmas and New Year. He was unconscious most of the time. At times when I stood beside him, he was able to recognise and smiled at me. Other times he was just staring blanks. 


Watcher's Bed at DMSF



January 2022

Omicron variant ran rampant across the world including in Davao. Denise contracted the virus. She was supposed to replace Edenn as the watcher but the plan had to change. January was quite tough. Our savings were depleted on top of all the loans from family and friends. Our plan to sell the properties were not successful. Throughout the month, we just lived one day at a time, monitoring carefully our cash and expenses to sustain Papa's medications. We would scramble for new source of fundings in cycle of two or three weeks time. 

Handing-over as watcher

February 2022

Papa became a bit stronger. He was conscious but still weak. He could still move his hands and legs but had lost his voice after an operation on his throat. He had a trachea on his throat now and that cost him his ability to talk. On February 9, the hospital decided that he could be released out of hospital. We were so happy with this news but then a new problem arose; how to settle the outstanding bills amounting to almost P1,5 millions.  Papa's eldest sibling, Aunt Mae and her husband, Uncle Totoy, came to help us. Majority of the funds was spent to pay Doctor's fees. Papa eventually came home to Mintal on February 10. We were so happy that he could spend his 70th birthday at home. 

March 2022

We were settling with the life in Mintal. I continued working from home and kept myself busy in the morning and afternoon cleaning the family's farm, and taking care of the ducks and our pets. Our life cycled around Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Those were the days in a week that Papa had to go for his dialysis at the hospital. Papa's condition improved. We were hoping that he could one day sit on a wheelchair and at least could have another life other than in the bedroom and staring at the window. 


I was supposed to return by the end of March to Jakarta but was able to re-schedule to early May. This proved to be one of best decisions I made in life. I could get to be with Edenn and Papa a little bit longer, the last few days of his life. 

April 2022

During the last week of March, papa was showing great progress and began to sit on a wheelchair for a couple of times but by April he lost interest to go out and became agitated easily. We thought this was a good sign that he could express his anger, meaning he already gained some strength. 

Papa and Adonis, his nurse at home

We were wrong. By third week of April, Papa was getting weaker. His sugar level shot to the roof, his oxygen level dropped and blood pressure was low. Yet, he asked to sit on a wheelchair one afternoon to check on the parking space project we did for the ambulance. That was the last time he went out on a wheelchair. 

His doctor advised us to admit him to the hospital again. We were all still traumatised of our experience at the hospital. Over the weekend of April 23, he became very weak, so we had no choice but to admit him to the hospital by Monday morning April 25. Doctors wanted to take him to ICU but we had no funds. We no longer had the energy and funds to go through the same cold and inhuman treatment that the hospital gave us before, chasing us like a debt collector would do to clients with defaulting loans. We should secure some funds first anticipating a week in ICU would cost around P500k to 600k. After long arguments and negotiations with the doctor, we had to submit and agreed to take him to ICU. Still he had to stay all day and night long at the holding room until 2 AM of April 26, before he was then taken to ICU. 

Around 10.30 pm we were woken up by Hanna's calling. She told us that papa's condition got worse but he seemed stable, we were able to talk to the resident doctor at ICU who told us that Papa was weak but stable. 

An hour later just before mid-night the resident doctor called Edenn again. This time she told her that we already lost Papa. He wasn't responding and they couldn't find his pulse anymore. 

Papa decided to leave us on April 26 around 11.29 midnight before the change of day,  my birthday. We then called Denise, who was in Quetta Pakistan and after that we rang all papa's siblings to break the news. 

It had been raining since afternoon that day as if the world was also mourning with Papa's departure. We started packing and gathered all the important documents. An hour later, Edenn's aunts and uncles came to the house. 

Dawn was breaking but no birds were chirping because of the rain. A new day arrived. It was the beginning of a new chapter, a life where Papa was no longer around us. I can't help but pondering how our priorities would have to be adjusted. We had prepared our retirement around Papa and how it would be like living near and taking care of him. Now that he is no longer with us, we have to find a new purpose and way of spending our old age. 

Papa's final resting place at Forest Lake 








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